Homeschoolers come to homeschooling for different reasons. I get that. But I do think some reasons for homeschooling are better than others.
It is better to homeschool because one cares about children's well-being than because one wants to exercise certain parental rights.
It is better to homeschool because one wants to help specific children learn well and happily than because one wants to give the government the middle finger, or make some other kind of political statement.
It is better to homeschool because one wants to make a child's world larger, with more opportunities, than because one wants to make it smaller, with fewer opportunities.
John Holt, the former teacher and founder of Growing Without Schooling magazine and the first to use the term "unschooling," was a great friend of children. I think it's safe to assume that Holt would be disturbed by the attempts of the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) to become the voice for all American homeschoolers. The HSLDA argues for the right of parents to use corporal punishment on their children and takes political stances on subjects like gay marriage that have nothing to do with homeschooling and everything to do with religion. The HSLDA has undermined decades of work by state-level homeschooling groups to secure reasonable homeschooling statutes, and the organization uses hyperbolic and distorted reports to scare parents into becoming dues-paying members in exchange for legal defense they don't need.
Michelle Goldberg's "Homeschooled Kids, Now Grown, Blog Against the Past" reveals much that is wrong with Christian fundamentalist homeschooling, and with the HSLDA. The article makes it clear that many fundamentalist homeschooling parents are not only harming their children, but actually making the legal right to homeschool shakier for everyone. The general public is rightfully concerned about homeschooling that involves abuse, neglect, sexism, and anti-intellectualism--that is, with homeschooling used to make a child's world smaller instead of larger.
Another threat to homeschooling, and to unschooling in particular, comes from a different place on the political spectrum. Certain unschoolers who see unschooling as inseparable from a libertarian or anarchist world view are actively courting media attention these days, in the name of bringing unschooling to the mainstream. (As with the HSLDA, both economic and political motives seem to be at work here.) Unfortunately, some of these advocates seem to think that any attention is good attention. They imagine that the portrayals of unschooling on shows such as Wife Swap are wonderful even if the privacy of their own children is violated by camera crews and their children's reputations damaged by unscrupulous editing. No matter what the media-seeking unschooling advocates say their intentions are, if the public is left with the impression that unschooling means children being left to fend for themselves in the name of "liberty," the legal right to unschool will be jeopardized. The kinds of media representations that are good for unschooling (and there have been some of these, though never on Wife Swap) look deeply at how people learn, and are thoughtful and nuanced in their discussion of how parents partner with their children. They are designed to be informational and not entertaining (which is to say, they don't include guests uttering bleeped-out words and ranting at each other), and generally don't offer financial compensation to the participants.
While I am glad to know some wonderful homeschooling families, I don't see myself as part of "the homeschooling community" or "the unschooling community." I am wary of homeschooling where the priority is not helping children thrive, and of homeschooling and unschooling advocates with political and economic agendas that can too easily eclipse actual children's needs.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Better Getting-to-Know-You Questions for Unschoolers (and Everyone)
A friend of mine who recently saw my children for the first time in over a year told me that she had trouble thinking of what to say to them on this particular visit. She said that she usually asks kids their grade level, or how they like their teachers, or what their favorite school subjects are. (In fact, I can recall her asking my kids some of these questions during a previous visit, and receiving a few blank stares in response.)
Because she has read my blog, and we've had some conversations about how unschooling differs from the kind of homeschooling that attempts to replicate school, she now realizes that those questions aren't particularly appropriate. But alternate questions didn't readily come to mind. After all, what kind of getting-to-know-you questions do you ask children who neither go to school, nor homeschool in a school-at-home kind of way?
I really appreciate my friend's honesty about this subject. And for the record, I think that the getting-acquainted questions adults ask each other often fall short as well.
My children enjoy talking about what interests them. "So, what do you enjoy doing?" is a great getting-to-know-you question.
It is much, much better than the favorite school-subject question because the answer can be, "I like reading and watching movies about different U.S. presidents," but can also be, "I like playing Minecraft and watching YouTube videos about how to play it better." The answer can be, "I like reading the Little House books with my mom," which involves reading and history but doesn't need to classified under those headings to be both fun and worthwhile to the child. In fact, I'm quite sure that while reading the Little House books with me, my daughter is not thinking about which school subjects she might be checking off.
"Do you have any special activities coming up?" is another good question. A child asked this question can talk about an upcoming dance recital, or a birthday party, or a trip to the mineral museum, or the purchase of a new video game once enough allowance has been saved.
It's simple, really. The kinds of questions my children respond to with enthusiasm tend to be the same kinds of questions that I respond to with enthusiasm. Even when I had a paid eight-to-five job, it seemed strange to be defined so completely by my job title that it was the first thing I was expected to tell people about myself.
I once had a boyfriend who ended up seated on a plane next to a woman who said she was an artist. Things were all friendly and chit-chatty until the woman explained that she paid her bills working as a medical receptionist. You see, my then-boyfriend felt it was deceptive of her to call herself an artist when she spent forty hours a week answering phones and sending faxes. I mean, how dare she? (That boyfriend and I broke up not too long after an argument about the airplane seatmate, whom I defended.)
Here's the thing: If what you most want me to know about you is that you work professionally as a marketing consultant, and I say, "So, what sorts of things do you enjoy doing?" you can say, "I LOVE working as a marketing consultant!" and tell me about a big client you just snagged, or a great campaign you successfully executed. But if you are a marketing consultant who happens to hate your job, my question gives you an opportunity to share something positive about yourself--something about the person you understand yourself to be. You can say, "I love designing fondant cakes!" or tell me about how you volunteer Saturday mornings at the Humane Society, or how you're an avid reader of crime novels and are thinking about trying your hand at writing one. And instead of just performing some empty social ritual, I've actually given myself a chance to know something real about you.
Philip W. Jackson's 1968 classic education study Life in Classrooms reminds readers of "an important fact about a student's life that parents and teachers often prefer not to talk about . . . This is the fact that young people have to be in school, whether they want to be or not." While we may encounter a child who is thrilled to say that he's in third grade, or that social studies is his favorite subject, I think most children have more interesting things they'd like to tell us. We really should give them the chance.
Because she has read my blog, and we've had some conversations about how unschooling differs from the kind of homeschooling that attempts to replicate school, she now realizes that those questions aren't particularly appropriate. But alternate questions didn't readily come to mind. After all, what kind of getting-to-know-you questions do you ask children who neither go to school, nor homeschool in a school-at-home kind of way?
I really appreciate my friend's honesty about this subject. And for the record, I think that the getting-acquainted questions adults ask each other often fall short as well.
My children enjoy talking about what interests them. "So, what do you enjoy doing?" is a great getting-to-know-you question.
It is much, much better than the favorite school-subject question because the answer can be, "I like reading and watching movies about different U.S. presidents," but can also be, "I like playing Minecraft and watching YouTube videos about how to play it better." The answer can be, "I like reading the Little House books with my mom," which involves reading and history but doesn't need to classified under those headings to be both fun and worthwhile to the child. In fact, I'm quite sure that while reading the Little House books with me, my daughter is not thinking about which school subjects she might be checking off.
"Do you have any special activities coming up?" is another good question. A child asked this question can talk about an upcoming dance recital, or a birthday party, or a trip to the mineral museum, or the purchase of a new video game once enough allowance has been saved.
It's simple, really. The kinds of questions my children respond to with enthusiasm tend to be the same kinds of questions that I respond to with enthusiasm. Even when I had a paid eight-to-five job, it seemed strange to be defined so completely by my job title that it was the first thing I was expected to tell people about myself.
I once had a boyfriend who ended up seated on a plane next to a woman who said she was an artist. Things were all friendly and chit-chatty until the woman explained that she paid her bills working as a medical receptionist. You see, my then-boyfriend felt it was deceptive of her to call herself an artist when she spent forty hours a week answering phones and sending faxes. I mean, how dare she? (That boyfriend and I broke up not too long after an argument about the airplane seatmate, whom I defended.)
Here's the thing: If what you most want me to know about you is that you work professionally as a marketing consultant, and I say, "So, what sorts of things do you enjoy doing?" you can say, "I LOVE working as a marketing consultant!" and tell me about a big client you just snagged, or a great campaign you successfully executed. But if you are a marketing consultant who happens to hate your job, my question gives you an opportunity to share something positive about yourself--something about the person you understand yourself to be. You can say, "I love designing fondant cakes!" or tell me about how you volunteer Saturday mornings at the Humane Society, or how you're an avid reader of crime novels and are thinking about trying your hand at writing one. And instead of just performing some empty social ritual, I've actually given myself a chance to know something real about you.
Philip W. Jackson's 1968 classic education study Life in Classrooms reminds readers of "an important fact about a student's life that parents and teachers often prefer not to talk about . . . This is the fact that young people have to be in school, whether they want to be or not." While we may encounter a child who is thrilled to say that he's in third grade, or that social studies is his favorite subject, I think most children have more interesting things they'd like to tell us. We really should give them the chance.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
An Interview with Grown Homeschooler Amanda Scott
I recently had the opportunity to interview Amanda Scott, a grown homeschooler from Alabama who is also an atheist. I met Amanda, who is nineteen, on the Freedom From Religion Foundation Facebook page, where Amanda is known for her extensive knowledge of First Amendment caselaw. Amanda is also the administrator of a Facebook Group called "The Wall of Separation," dedicated to the constitutional principle of the separation of church and state, the Framers' intent, and Supreme Court jurisprudence.
Did you homeschool from early childhood on, or did you have some school experiences along the way?
AS: I attended public school until the fourth grade.
How did you and/or your parents arrive at the decision to homeschool?
AS: My parents decided to homeschool me because of my health. I had a health problem that required me to go to the doctor at least three times a week which conflicted with my school schedule. But my parents saw that I did better at home than at school, so they decided to continue to homeschool me for the rest of my school years.
Did your parents have any particular homeschooling philosophy or approach? Did you ever use a formal curriculum?
AS: At first my parents used a formal homeschooling curriculum with homeschool textbooks, but later on they used an online curriculum and I did most of my studying online on various educational websites. On a side note, I remember my first homeschool textbooks were published by a Christian company and included a Bible verse question at the end of each chapter.
Were you raised in a freethinking home, or did you abandon religious ideas somewhere along the way?
AS: I was raised without any religion. My parents never baptized me, took me to church, or sent me to Sunday school or vacation Bible school. We never read the Bible. I am not even sure we owned a Bible! We celebrated Christmas and Easter as secular holidays. We always decorated our house with trees, garland, wreaths, mistletoe, Santa Claus, elves, reindeer, and snowmen, but we never put up a nativity scene, an angel, or even a star signifying the Christian origins of Christmas as the birth of Jesus Christ.
However, when I became a teenager, I became interested in learning about religion, and I read the New Testament, the Torah, the Qur'an, the Book of Mormon, the Bhagavad Gita, the Dhammapada, the Tao Te Ching, the Analects, the Satanic Bible and a number of other religious texts. But I was not interested in converting to any religion. I am still not interested in converting to any religion now. Religion is not for me.
Some might find it hard to believe that a teenager would do so much reading if it wasn't assigned by a teacher. How would you respond to those who argue that teenagers need formal incentives (rewards, sanctions, etc.) to learn?
AS: I think, to quote John Holt, that the human animal is a learning animal. Children are naturally interested in learning. But when you put children into the traditional public or private schooling system, teach them for eight hours a day, and then assign them homework and prepare them for tests, they lose their natural interest in learning once they leave school. Fortunately I haven't lost my natural interest in learning.
And how did your parents respond to your researching various religious traditions?
AS: My parents encouraged me to learn about religion. My mother took me every week to our local Barnes & Noble store and let me browse the Religion & Spirituality section and select a new book on religion. I recall one interesting experience where I was looking for a copy of the Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey but couldn't find one and my mother asked the Barnes & Noble sales managers if they had any copies left in stock. Their reaction was priceless! I became a regular at the book store until it closed down two years ago. Now I buy all of my books online through websites that sell used textbooks and ex-library books.
Did you ever find that when you identified yourself as a homeschooler, people assumed you were Christian?
AS: Yes they did, and they still do. When I tell people I was homeschooled, they assume I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian household where I was taught that Jesus rode on the dinosaurs, but it was the exact opposite.
You are very interested in, and knowledgeable about, constitutional law. When and how did this interest develop?
AS: Last year I discovered the Freedom From Religion Foundation after a local friend reported the city of Bay Minett's "Operation Restore Our Community" program which would have allowed misdemeanor offenders to choose between going to jail or attending church services for a year. The Freedom From Religion Foundation, Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, the American Civil Liberties Union, and other national civil rights groups intervened and put a stop (or at least a halt) to the unconstitutional program. I became very interested in learning more about the constitutional principle of the separation of church and state. I began researching the Supreme Court Religion Clause cases like McCollum v. Board of Education, 333 U.S. 203 (1948), Abington Township School District v. Schempp (consolidated with Murray v. Curlett), 374 U.S. 203 (1963), and Engel v. Vitale, 370 U.S. 421 (1962). I also researched Circuit Court cases.
Unfortunately, because I am not a law student (yet, anyway), I do not have a subscription to professional legal search engines like WestLaw or LexisNexis. I use scholar.google.com which allows me to search through legal documents including Supreme Court cases and Circuit Court up to about the 1930s. For the State Court cases predating the 1930s, like State ex rel Weiss v. District Board 76 Wis. 177 (1890) or Board of Education of Cincinnati v. Minor, 23 Ohio St. 211 (1872), I use Google Books which allows me to search through digitally archived copies of case law reports like the South Eastern Reporter or the Reports of Cases Argued and Determined in the Supreme Court of Ohio. I also bought a used copy of The Bluebook: A Uniform System of Citation and learned how to cite court cases properly, quote judicial opinions, omit quotations, and use signals. Because I was homeschooled/unschooled, I learned how to teach myself without a formal teacher. But I understand that I need to have a formal university education and I am hoping to enroll in paralegal studies next year and apply for a legal internship with the Freedom From Religion Foundation in the next couple of years.
You clearly seem to have learned to locate and apply information for yourself. Are there any other ways in which you see homeschooling as having been advantageous?
AS: Yes. My parents gave me access to the Internet as young as eight years old. At a very young age, I developed the skills to efficiently use search engines to find information. I also developed the skills to create websites by coding HTML, CSS, and JavaScript and create graphics in Photoshop which enabled me to open my own fansite for my favorite band at the age of thirteen. I think being homeschooled has been advantageous to me because I developed skills that some people have to go to school for.
What, if anything, has been the downside to homeschooling for you, as compared to conventional schooling?
AS: I think the only downside to being homeschooled is anxiety. I am anxious about going to college after being homeschooled for so many years. I will have to adapt to sitting in a classroom next to other students listening to a teacher again. However, my anxiety is only in a school setting. I don't have any anxiety in any other social setting.
What was it like--and is it like today--being a nonbeliever in Alabama?
AS: My family and I have done very well in Alabama. Religion and politics are not topics that come up in our everyday lives. When someone asks me where I go to church, I just politely respond that I don't go to church. If someone hands me a religious pamphlet, I just politely accept it and say thank you. I don't discuss my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) or political views with strangers because it's none of their business.
What do you think are the most important qualities, practices, habits, etc. that secular homeschooling parents should model to their children?
AS: I think Dale McGowan's book Parenting Beyond Belief is a good place to start. I think the most important quality parents can teach their children is charity, regardless of whether they are religious or secular. My parents taught me to be charitable by example. My mother and father would always do random acts of charity, like helping the person in line at the grocery store pay for their groceries when they came up short, or stopping by the side of the road and giving someone a ride when their car broke down, or letting someone stay over at our house when they had nowhere else to go. When I was a little girl I didn't understand why they did the things they do, but now I understand why they did them. Charity knows no religion.
I want to thank Amanda for sharing her experiences and insights, which I hope are as interesting (and encouraging!) to other secular and unschooling/homeschooling parents as they are to me.
Did you homeschool from early childhood on, or did you have some school experiences along the way?
AS: I attended public school until the fourth grade.
How did you and/or your parents arrive at the decision to homeschool?
AS: My parents decided to homeschool me because of my health. I had a health problem that required me to go to the doctor at least three times a week which conflicted with my school schedule. But my parents saw that I did better at home than at school, so they decided to continue to homeschool me for the rest of my school years.
Did your parents have any particular homeschooling philosophy or approach? Did you ever use a formal curriculum?
AS: At first my parents used a formal homeschooling curriculum with homeschool textbooks, but later on they used an online curriculum and I did most of my studying online on various educational websites. On a side note, I remember my first homeschool textbooks were published by a Christian company and included a Bible verse question at the end of each chapter.
Were you raised in a freethinking home, or did you abandon religious ideas somewhere along the way?
AS: I was raised without any religion. My parents never baptized me, took me to church, or sent me to Sunday school or vacation Bible school. We never read the Bible. I am not even sure we owned a Bible! We celebrated Christmas and Easter as secular holidays. We always decorated our house with trees, garland, wreaths, mistletoe, Santa Claus, elves, reindeer, and snowmen, but we never put up a nativity scene, an angel, or even a star signifying the Christian origins of Christmas as the birth of Jesus Christ.
However, when I became a teenager, I became interested in learning about religion, and I read the New Testament, the Torah, the Qur'an, the Book of Mormon, the Bhagavad Gita, the Dhammapada, the Tao Te Ching, the Analects, the Satanic Bible and a number of other religious texts. But I was not interested in converting to any religion. I am still not interested in converting to any religion now. Religion is not for me.
Some might find it hard to believe that a teenager would do so much reading if it wasn't assigned by a teacher. How would you respond to those who argue that teenagers need formal incentives (rewards, sanctions, etc.) to learn?
AS: I think, to quote John Holt, that the human animal is a learning animal. Children are naturally interested in learning. But when you put children into the traditional public or private schooling system, teach them for eight hours a day, and then assign them homework and prepare them for tests, they lose their natural interest in learning once they leave school. Fortunately I haven't lost my natural interest in learning.
And how did your parents respond to your researching various religious traditions?
AS: My parents encouraged me to learn about religion. My mother took me every week to our local Barnes & Noble store and let me browse the Religion & Spirituality section and select a new book on religion. I recall one interesting experience where I was looking for a copy of the Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey but couldn't find one and my mother asked the Barnes & Noble sales managers if they had any copies left in stock. Their reaction was priceless! I became a regular at the book store until it closed down two years ago. Now I buy all of my books online through websites that sell used textbooks and ex-library books.
Did you ever find that when you identified yourself as a homeschooler, people assumed you were Christian?
AS: Yes they did, and they still do. When I tell people I was homeschooled, they assume I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian household where I was taught that Jesus rode on the dinosaurs, but it was the exact opposite.
You are very interested in, and knowledgeable about, constitutional law. When and how did this interest develop?
AS: Last year I discovered the Freedom From Religion Foundation after a local friend reported the city of Bay Minett's "Operation Restore Our Community" program which would have allowed misdemeanor offenders to choose between going to jail or attending church services for a year. The Freedom From Religion Foundation, Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, the American Civil Liberties Union, and other national civil rights groups intervened and put a stop (or at least a halt) to the unconstitutional program. I became very interested in learning more about the constitutional principle of the separation of church and state. I began researching the Supreme Court Religion Clause cases like McCollum v. Board of Education, 333 U.S. 203 (1948), Abington Township School District v. Schempp (consolidated with Murray v. Curlett), 374 U.S. 203 (1963), and Engel v. Vitale, 370 U.S. 421 (1962). I also researched Circuit Court cases.
Unfortunately, because I am not a law student (yet, anyway), I do not have a subscription to professional legal search engines like WestLaw or LexisNexis. I use scholar.google.com which allows me to search through legal documents including Supreme Court cases and Circuit Court up to about the 1930s. For the State Court cases predating the 1930s, like State ex rel Weiss v. District Board 76 Wis. 177 (1890) or Board of Education of Cincinnati v. Minor, 23 Ohio St. 211 (1872), I use Google Books which allows me to search through digitally archived copies of case law reports like the South Eastern Reporter or the Reports of Cases Argued and Determined in the Supreme Court of Ohio. I also bought a used copy of The Bluebook: A Uniform System of Citation and learned how to cite court cases properly, quote judicial opinions, omit quotations, and use signals. Because I was homeschooled/unschooled, I learned how to teach myself without a formal teacher. But I understand that I need to have a formal university education and I am hoping to enroll in paralegal studies next year and apply for a legal internship with the Freedom From Religion Foundation in the next couple of years.
You clearly seem to have learned to locate and apply information for yourself. Are there any other ways in which you see homeschooling as having been advantageous?
AS: Yes. My parents gave me access to the Internet as young as eight years old. At a very young age, I developed the skills to efficiently use search engines to find information. I also developed the skills to create websites by coding HTML, CSS, and JavaScript and create graphics in Photoshop which enabled me to open my own fansite for my favorite band at the age of thirteen. I think being homeschooled has been advantageous to me because I developed skills that some people have to go to school for.
What, if anything, has been the downside to homeschooling for you, as compared to conventional schooling?
AS: I think the only downside to being homeschooled is anxiety. I am anxious about going to college after being homeschooled for so many years. I will have to adapt to sitting in a classroom next to other students listening to a teacher again. However, my anxiety is only in a school setting. I don't have any anxiety in any other social setting.
What was it like--and is it like today--being a nonbeliever in Alabama?
AS: My family and I have done very well in Alabama. Religion and politics are not topics that come up in our everyday lives. When someone asks me where I go to church, I just politely respond that I don't go to church. If someone hands me a religious pamphlet, I just politely accept it and say thank you. I don't discuss my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) or political views with strangers because it's none of their business.
What do you think are the most important qualities, practices, habits, etc. that secular homeschooling parents should model to their children?
AS: I think Dale McGowan's book Parenting Beyond Belief is a good place to start. I think the most important quality parents can teach their children is charity, regardless of whether they are religious or secular. My parents taught me to be charitable by example. My mother and father would always do random acts of charity, like helping the person in line at the grocery store pay for their groceries when they came up short, or stopping by the side of the road and giving someone a ride when their car broke down, or letting someone stay over at our house when they had nowhere else to go. When I was a little girl I didn't understand why they did the things they do, but now I understand why they did them. Charity knows no religion.
I want to thank Amanda for sharing her experiences and insights, which I hope are as interesting (and encouraging!) to other secular and unschooling/homeschooling parents as they are to me.
Monday, January 21, 2013
The Unschooling-Atheism Intersection
While What to Tell the Neighbors was still in the conceptual stage, I wondered if it might be problematic to focus on both unschooling and atheism. After all, not all unschoolers are atheists, and certainly most atheists are not unschoolers.
Yet for me the two are linked in some important ways.
First, both unschooling and atheism are significant departures from the typical, not only here in western Kentucky, but in most parts of the United States. Unschooling atheist families may be viewed as doubly odd and thus must be extra thick-skinned when facing criticism. Often, they must make a concerted effort to find the support they need to sustain them. Blogs can be an important part of that support--both for writers and readers!
Second, successful unschooling (generally defined as an approach to homeschooling in which children learn without pre-designed curricula, grading, standardized tests, and other conventions of traditional schooling) requires parents who are convinced that children learn better from love than from fear, from being allowed to explore than from being forced, and from formulating questions than from memorizing someone else's answers. Thus, unschoolers tend to be people whose worldview is not fundamentalist anything. While not all of the unschoolers I've encountered identify as atheist, many do identify as atheist, agnostic, humanist, freethinker, skeptic, etc.
A few months ago, I "met" (in that virtual Facebook way) a young woman who is both an atheist and a grown homeschooler. Her name is Amanda Scott, she is nineteen years old, and she never fails to dazzle me with her knowledge of constitutional law. In addition to being an active participant on the Freedom from Religion Foundation's Facebook page, Amanda is the administrator of a Facebook Group called "The Wall of Separation," which is a great source of information on Supreme Court jurisprudence related to the First Amendment. I thought it would be interesting to interview Amanda to see how her experiences learning outside of a traditional school environment influenced her atheism, and vice versa. Amanda agreed to the interview, which will be appearing soon as my next post. If you are an unschooling or homeschooling parent who is raising your child without religion, you won't want to miss this one.
Yet for me the two are linked in some important ways.
First, both unschooling and atheism are significant departures from the typical, not only here in western Kentucky, but in most parts of the United States. Unschooling atheist families may be viewed as doubly odd and thus must be extra thick-skinned when facing criticism. Often, they must make a concerted effort to find the support they need to sustain them. Blogs can be an important part of that support--both for writers and readers!
Second, successful unschooling (generally defined as an approach to homeschooling in which children learn without pre-designed curricula, grading, standardized tests, and other conventions of traditional schooling) requires parents who are convinced that children learn better from love than from fear, from being allowed to explore than from being forced, and from formulating questions than from memorizing someone else's answers. Thus, unschoolers tend to be people whose worldview is not fundamentalist anything. While not all of the unschoolers I've encountered identify as atheist, many do identify as atheist, agnostic, humanist, freethinker, skeptic, etc.
A few months ago, I "met" (in that virtual Facebook way) a young woman who is both an atheist and a grown homeschooler. Her name is Amanda Scott, she is nineteen years old, and she never fails to dazzle me with her knowledge of constitutional law. In addition to being an active participant on the Freedom from Religion Foundation's Facebook page, Amanda is the administrator of a Facebook Group called "The Wall of Separation," which is a great source of information on Supreme Court jurisprudence related to the First Amendment. I thought it would be interesting to interview Amanda to see how her experiences learning outside of a traditional school environment influenced her atheism, and vice versa. Amanda agreed to the interview, which will be appearing soon as my next post. If you are an unschooling or homeschooling parent who is raising your child without religion, you won't want to miss this one.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Boxes Are Good for Presents
One of my children has asked for, and will be receiving tomorrow morning, a toy that is clearly marketed to children of the opposite sex. I am glad that my child felt it was safe to ask for this toy, but I'm frustrated that these categories of "boy toys" and "girl toys" even exist. I'm frustrated that I've seen our nearest Target store increasingly segregate the toys into a boy section and a girl section; even the Legos are now on two different aisles. One of my favorite children's clothing manufacturers, Hanna Andersson, used to make some brightly-colored unisex clothes (baby garments and items like sweatshirts, pajamas, and socks for older kids), but now the entire Hanna catalog is segregated, too, and formerly neutral items contain clear gender signifiers.
I regret some of my parenting decisions, but I don't regret buying my sons dolls they could cuddle and care for. I don't regret the hours my sons spent make-believing with their sister and our wooden play kitchen, because, as we all know, men cook and eat, too. I don't regret dressing my daughter in her older brother's hand-me-down pajamas with blue and red stripes, because she loved them, and because girls can look fabulous in colors other than pink. I don't regret buying her Hot Wheels when she asked for them, or supporting her decision to wear pants last Easter because a skirt might interfere with her ability to be fully competitive in the front-yard egg hunt. I don't regret saying, "The rainbow belongs to everyone," each time a stereotype about "girl colors" and "boy colors" found its way into our conversations.
If anyone makes an issue about my child receiving this particular toy for Christmas, I am going to challenge that person. Because I would deeply regret missing an opportunity to point out how placing people in stupid boxes prevents them from experiencing all of their humanity.
And if I'm in the mood, I might also sing a horribly off-key version of this song. (If you listen, please don't miss the last verse.)
I regret some of my parenting decisions, but I don't regret buying my sons dolls they could cuddle and care for. I don't regret the hours my sons spent make-believing with their sister and our wooden play kitchen, because, as we all know, men cook and eat, too. I don't regret dressing my daughter in her older brother's hand-me-down pajamas with blue and red stripes, because she loved them, and because girls can look fabulous in colors other than pink. I don't regret buying her Hot Wheels when she asked for them, or supporting her decision to wear pants last Easter because a skirt might interfere with her ability to be fully competitive in the front-yard egg hunt. I don't regret saying, "The rainbow belongs to everyone," each time a stereotype about "girl colors" and "boy colors" found its way into our conversations.
If anyone makes an issue about my child receiving this particular toy for Christmas, I am going to challenge that person. Because I would deeply regret missing an opportunity to point out how placing people in stupid boxes prevents them from experiencing all of their humanity.
And if I'm in the mood, I might also sing a horribly off-key version of this song. (If you listen, please don't miss the last verse.)
Thursday, December 20, 2012
The Atheist Closet
And yet, my recent activism has confirmed what I long suspected: there are dozens of other atheists (and agnostics) in my neck of the woods. Unfortunately, only some of these people are willing to be open about their lack of belief in the supernatural. The open ones I know are mostly under the age of thirty.
I don't have any particular ideas about the best way for someone to come out of the atheist closet. I came out fairly gradually. This fit my situation, because my transition from Catholic to atheist was a gradual one. Yet it's clear to me that no matter how gradually one may arrive at atheism, the destination may come as a shock to many.
In the several years that my family has lived in our town, we've never been church-goers. When someone would push the issue with me, I would simply say, "I'm (or we're) not religious." But it's now clear to me that when I used the phrase "not religious," some people thought, "Oh--she prefers to get it straight from the bible," and others thought, "There's still hope."
Revealing one's atheism to a religious parent is often an unavoidable part of the coming-out process. I can say, from agonizing experience, that just because you haven't attended church in thirteen years and were observed reading The God Delusion on your last holiday visit doesn't mean your mother is necessarily prepared for the a-word. But if you're lucky, after you've both cried a lot, she'll still love you and your kiddos anyway.
I came out as an atheist, to a few people at a time, because my own sense of integrity demanded it. And I'm not very good at pretending. I became even more out when I started blogging about atheism in June. My reasons for the blog were many, but one was the mixed messages I felt I was sending my children. On the one hand, I was telling them I was comfortable with my atheism; on the other, I was going too far out of my way to avoid discussing my unbelief with others. I realized this when one of my children kept asking me if I was sure the First Amendment protected my statements that I didn't believe in God, and if it did, why I was so afraid to tell anyone outside our house. Homeschool Atheist Momma Karen captures my thoughts perfectly when she says, "I'm fighting for atheist openness so my kids can take it for granted."
For readers considering coming out of the atheist closet--or for those who are simply interested in the different forms the process takes--I have stories for you. Click on the links to read about:
Teresa MacBain, who was active as a Methodist minister when she came out at a national atheist convention;
Jerry DeWitt, a bible-belt pastor who accidentally outed himself with a Facebook photo;
Walter Petit, the president of Western Kentucky University's Secular Student Alliance, who came out to his mother while still a young teen;
Leanna, another Kentucky homeschooling mother who didn't want her children to think atheist was a dirty word.I also welcome readers' own coming-out stories, as well as your thoughts about the Out Campaign.
Friday, November 23, 2012
My Freethought Radio Interview, and a Memorable School Board Meeting
Last weekend, I was interviewed on Freethought Radio, a program hosted by the Freedom from Religion Foundation co-presidents Annie Laurie Gaylor and Dan Barker. We talked about the Muhlenberg County Schools' literature distribution policy, going all the way back to last fall when the FFRF convinced the board of education to end its practice of allowing members of the Gideons International to distribute bibles to fifth-graders during instructional time. I recalled the details of my discovery that the board had, at its May 14 meeting, unanimously voted "to approve plans for collaboration and efforts to support the Gideon's [sic] organization," and my failed attempts to convince the board to prohibit all outside groups from distributing literature to students. I explained my decision to request, along with the Western Kentucky University Secular Student Alliance, a presence at afterschool events (as long as the Gideons were permitted access), and described our experience "tabling" at Muhlenberg High School (which I also wrote about in my last post).
The Freethought Radio podcast is now available here. I'm sorry about the hiss in the background, and I'm going to ask the FFRF tech folks if something can be done about it.
In other news, at the Muhlenberg County Board of Education's November 12 meeting, Western Kentucky University SSA president and Muhlenberg North High School graduate Walter Petit asked the board to end its practice of opening meetings with prayer, and to close afterschool events to all outside groups. While a portion of Petit's remarks made the evening news and the local papers, some interesting and important details of the meeting were omitted.
First, the meeting was opened with a prayer, led by board member Jerry Winters, that may have been the most sectarian and divisive prayer in board history. The idea seemed to be to throw in the word "Christian" as often as possible, and to imply that anyone opposed to prayer at meetings could not possibly care about the children of Muhlenberg County as much as Winters.
Second, while SSA's Walter Petit was still at the podium after addressing the board, Winters stated, "If I had things my way, we wouldn't even be teaching that we come from monkeys and lizards!" So there you have it: at a board meeting during which the importance of getting students "college ready" was frequently mentioned, a member of the board of education expressed his desire to remove the teaching of evolution from the science curriculum.
Without missing a beat, Petit responded that Winters' statement revealed "such scientific ignorance" that he had no business serving on a board of education. I think that the Kentucky Science Teachers Association--whose Position Statement on Evolution readers may want to check out for themselves--would agree.
The Freethought Radio podcast is now available here. I'm sorry about the hiss in the background, and I'm going to ask the FFRF tech folks if something can be done about it.
In other news, at the Muhlenberg County Board of Education's November 12 meeting, Western Kentucky University SSA president and Muhlenberg North High School graduate Walter Petit asked the board to end its practice of opening meetings with prayer, and to close afterschool events to all outside groups. While a portion of Petit's remarks made the evening news and the local papers, some interesting and important details of the meeting were omitted.
First, the meeting was opened with a prayer, led by board member Jerry Winters, that may have been the most sectarian and divisive prayer in board history. The idea seemed to be to throw in the word "Christian" as often as possible, and to imply that anyone opposed to prayer at meetings could not possibly care about the children of Muhlenberg County as much as Winters.
Second, while SSA's Walter Petit was still at the podium after addressing the board, Winters stated, "If I had things my way, we wouldn't even be teaching that we come from monkeys and lizards!" So there you have it: at a board meeting during which the importance of getting students "college ready" was frequently mentioned, a member of the board of education expressed his desire to remove the teaching of evolution from the science curriculum.
Without missing a beat, Petit responded that Winters' statement revealed "such scientific ignorance" that he had no business serving on a board of education. I think that the Kentucky Science Teachers Association--whose Position Statement on Evolution readers may want to check out for themselves--would agree.
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